I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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