i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize