yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
