i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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