I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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