..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
