i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize