fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
