u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
