anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
