My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
