Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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