She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
