Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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