Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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