Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
