Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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