Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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