we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
