Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
