Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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