NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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