she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize