**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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