i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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