You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
