friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize