if i died would you start the facebook group?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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