I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
