Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
