I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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