Jerry, you need to find god
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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