She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He has the fingertips of a God
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