who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Don't you send me to vm
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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