i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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