How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize