I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have fence marks all over my body
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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