At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
