just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
