we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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