turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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