you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
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Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
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I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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