I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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