I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize