We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
