I want to have your abortion
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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