I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize