He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
