Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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