Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
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Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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