my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
