dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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