The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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