You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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