I think im going to throw up on grandma
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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