in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize