Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
