Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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