um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize